I used to think that being married was kind of pointless for lesbians and gays. After all, we acknowledge our differences from heterosexuals, so why were we all up-in-arms about being excluded from an ages-old institution, that, quite frankly, doesn't even appear to work? As Germaine Greer once said, "lifelong monogamy is a manical idea".The idea of using a ceremony that is sanctified by the church to define my relationship with my lover seemed quite absurd. Why would lesbians and gays want to buy into all that?But now I realise the right to marry who you choose goes much deeper than that holy piece of paper. It is an issue of basic civil rights. The contract allows for your relationship to be recognized by law as valid. It gives partners the right to be at your bedside in an emergency, allows wills to stand up to family after death, allows very generous tax concessions, the right to adopt children, and the right to live in the same country as your partner despite immigration laws.
Besides all of this, I'm seriously *lovesick* and, fuck it, I WANT TO. I want more than cyber-marriage. I want more than being her lover.I want to scream out to the world that I love her and nothing can stop us. I want that goddamned piece of paper with both our names on it. I want to have our parents share our joy and a tacky wedding day, with pics, flowers, attendants, the works. So why can't I? Why are we excluded from this slice-of-life that all my peers are enjoying? How can I keep being a bridesmaid in a stupid pink dress, while never being the one?.... Who says?
Jules is a 23 year old dyke living in Sydney, Australia. She's currently at University earning her Nursing degree and working part-time in operating theaters. She describes herself as generally "happy and lovesick". Visit Jules' homepage.
Where do you stand on gay marriage? Send e-mail to Grrowl! and let us know! Responses will be published in Toothmarks.
